At a Wedding...

Don't try to hook up with these California chicks. They have diseases like herpes and AIDS.

On Baggy Pants...

Respectable boys don't wear shit like that.

On Meeting the Opposite Sex...

You don't need a wing-man, when you have a wing-mom.

On Marriage...

There is a lot of good times to be had out there while your young, you don't want to be poor and just sit there on the couch and stare at each other, do ya?

On Fighting...

It's not nice to hit people, but sometimes it's necessary.